15 Ways on How to Love Yourself in a Relationship (2023)

woman meditating

Building healthy relationships can be a challenge. We’re often more concerned about loving the other person rather than loving ourselves. As a result, we find it difficult to build and sustain happy relationships.

Fostering self-love in a relationship helps you support your mental and emotional health without depending on your partner. 

How to Love Yourself in a Relationship?

1. Spend some me-time regularly

Spending time alone is incredibly beneficial for our mental and physical health. I love me-time because it allows me to recharge, unwind, and relax. Taking time for yourself in a relationship is a great way to get back in touch with your intuition. 

During this time, you can inspire more trust in yourself and your ability to handle situations that life tosses your way. 

You can get some me-time by taking a walk in the park or spending some time alone in a quiet room. Whether it’s one hour a day, 30 minutes a week, or before you go to bed every night, make sure you seize the alone time you need.

2. Exercise regularly and eat well

Regular exercise and healthy dieting are brilliant ways to love yourself in a relationship. It makes you feel more energetic and confident. This is because physical activity increases serotonin levels in the brain, which improves your mood. It also helps you get rid of excess fat and maintain an attractive physique. 

Researchers have found that our diet influences our mental health. Consider seeking healthy diet recommendations from reputable nutritionists online. Also, try signing up for a local gym. Working out alone can be especially daunting if you’re starting, but adopting the routine is a lot easier when you have like-minded people around.

3. Define your values

One way to practice self-love before a relationship is to define your values. Our values are at the core of what we believe in. They define who we are and how we want to live our lives. When you know your values, it becomes easier to make decisions that align with them and determine if the people around you are in accordance with your values. 

To define your values, find a quiet environment without distractions, think about the things that matter most to you, visualize the type of person you’ll love to become and write it down. Expressing your values in written form will allow you to reflect on your actions and ensure that they align with your stated beliefs.

4. Write down your accomplishments

Sometimes, we don’t realize how far we’ve come until we look back at our history. Remind yourself of your accomplishments by writing down everything you’ve achieved recently. Tracking your progress is motivating and helps you build your self-confidence. It’s a remarkable way to work on yourself while in a relationship. 

When you feel like you haven’t been giving your best, reminding yourself of your small wins will reassure you of your outstanding abilities. Don’t just write your achievement list and store it in your drawer; place it somewhere you can always see it. Perhaps on your wall, a note in your purse, or a write-up on your phone. Try summarizing each accomplishment in one sentence or less for easy referencing.

5. Write yourself a love letter

Self-love vs self-care is a matter of how we treat ourselves positively compared to how we manifest mindful thoughts and intentions in real life. Writing yourself a love letter is a classic example of where both elements intersect because it involves thinking of yourself positively and reinforcing these thoughts through writing. 

How did you feel the last time someone said nice things about you? You felt fantastic, right? That’s the same feeling you get when you recall amazing things about yourself in a love letter. It’s best to handwrite your love letter slowly and elegantly, giving deep thought to each sentence.

6. Go traveling

Traveling is a brilliant way to practice self-love in a relationship. Some people may not feel comfortable venturing out alone, but a solo trip is the best travel option if you’re looking to better yourself in a relationship. 

Taking a solo trip can help you enjoy your company better as you indulge in things that you love and reconnect with interests and hobbies you may have neglected for some time. 

It also offers a great opportunity to discover yourself because you’ll constantly encounter situations that challenge your decision-making skills. And this pushes you to fend for yourself and become more mindful of your strengths and values. 

7. Maintain your existing friendships

As you focus on yourself in a relationship, don’t cut communication with your friends. Some people tend to focus on their partners so much that they take their friends for granted. But this isn’t right. Friends are like family. They share your joys during good times and support you when you feel low. 

You can do several things today to get closer to your friend. First, check in on them through phone calls or texts. Second, schedule a physical meeting with them. Even if it’s just grabbing coffee or lunch together once a week, it will help keep things fresh and informal between you. 

8. Create something new

Creating something new is a bold step to start loving yourself in a relationship. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a visual creative, a writer, an entrepreneur, or an employee; everyone possesses creative ability. Creativity entails being original. 

It’s easy to get stuck in a rut if you keep repeating the same things repeatedly. But when you start doing something new, it fosters a sense of accomplishment and self-esteem and helps you focus on the positive energy within you. 

To unleash your creative ability, observe your environment and note what’s around you. Break down problems into smaller components, then find a solution for each component. 

9. Create a bucket list

A bucket list is a list of things you want to do before you “kick the bucket. These could be anything from skydiving, visiting all the countries in the world, or climbing Mount Everest. For some people, it’s learning new skills or starting a business. 

Whatever adventure you’re hoping to experience, creating a bucket list is a great way to start living your life to the fullest. If you’re looking to better yourself in a relationship, creating a bucket list can help motivate you. Some people only create their bucket list in their heads, but it’s best to make a physical list and start ticking off items as you go. 

10. Practice meditation regularly

Meditation is a powerful tool for reducing stress and improving focus and clarity of mind. It elevates you from the stage where you worry about loving yourself to a point where you cultivate a positive outlook and build self-reliance. 

Studies reveal that meditation can help to lower cortisol levels. To get started, find a quiet place where you can sit comfortably for five to 10 minutes. Then breathe deeply and let go of any worries or distractions. You can practice meditation anywhere, at any time, and with any experience level. The important thing is to make it a daily practice. 

11. Understand your love language

If you’re in a relationship, there’s a chance that you speak a different love language from your partner’s. In the book The 5 Love Languages, author Gary D. Chapman identifies five love languages: receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, and physical touch. 

Different people have different ways of showing and receiving love. And it’s important to understand yours. Otherwise, it will strain communication with your partner. 

Consider taking a quiz or survey online to learn more about your love language. These quizzes are designed to give you insight into your love language and the love languages of those you care about.

12. Practice gratitude

Practicing gratitude helps us lead a happy, fulfilling life. Sadly, being grateful for the things we have is not a habit that comes naturally to everyone. It can take a lot of practice and mindfulness to make gratitude a lifestyle. But it is well worth the effort. 

Gratitude makes us happier, healthier, and more optimistic. It boosts self-esteem and confidence and promotes social connections and relationships. To practice gratitude, always look for the good things and appreciate them. Keep a gratitude journal and share your appreciation with like-minded people.

13. Visit a therapist

Visiting a therapist is a powerful way to practice self-love in a relationship. Sometimes some harder underlying issues weigh us down without our knowledge. But a therapist can help you sort through your feelings and get to the root of a particular issue. They can also help you process past trauma, deal with depression, work through relationship problems, and learn coping strategies to deal with triggers that might cause a relapse. 

There are many types of therapists, including psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, and counselors. If you’re thinking about visiting a therapist, do some research first to determine if the therapist has any experience helping people with similar problems.

14. Get your finances in order

It’s important to get your finances in order. This will ensure that you have enough money to support yourself and your loved ones through any unforeseen challenges. Having backup funds like that boosts self-esteem and inspires a feeling of control. 

Managing your finances includes having a budget, tracking your spending, and saving money every month. It is also important to be selective about the financial commitments you take on, such as credit card debt and car loans. 

If you’re struggling to get your finances in order, there are several things you can do to resolve the problem. One of them is using a financial plan. Write down your financial goals and how you plan to achieve them.

15. Accept and give compliments

Accepting compliments can be challenging for people with social anxiety. But accepting compliments shows other people that you are confident enough to believe that you’re worth it. And it truly boosts your confidence. You don’t have to worry that accepting a compliment will look like bragging. 

Simply say “thank you” when someone says nice things to you. Giving compliments is an easy way to make someone’s day better, even if they don’t seem like the type to accept them. When you have a genuine compliment to give, go for it. People thrive on positive feedback and encouragement.


Can you learn to love yourself while in a relationship?

Of course, you can learn to love yourself while in a relationship, and doing so will help you enjoy better companionship with your partner.

How to practice self-love in a relationship?

To practice self-love in a relationship, you need to cultivate and grow a positive outlook of yourself. Consistently support this mindset through simple mental exercises like meditation and journaling.

How to practice self-care in a relationship?

To practice self-care in a relationship, you need to be deliberate about doing kind things for yourself just as you would for any other person you love.

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