15 Long-Distance Relationship Problems and How to Avoid Them
Long-distance relationships are tricky to navigate well. The physical separation can be challenging, especially if you and your partner don’t see each other very often.
Trust can quickly wane, and from there, other long-distance relationship problems will arise. If you and your partner are long distances apart, it is essential to know what you are up against.
1. No End Date to Strive For
Several factors contribute to the success of a relationship, and one of them is duration. The end date is a deadline set at the beginning of a relationship. It’s like a “moving in” date that shows when the two people are ready to commit.
By setting a specific end date, you can force yourself to start thinking about what you want from the relationship. But this is hardly achievable in a long-distance relationship since you rarely spend time together to know yourselves better.
How to Avoid it?
If you want to set a time limit for your relationship, it’s important to be clear about what you want. Consider your values and long-term goals to determine how much time you’re willing to dedicate to the relationship.
After that, you should have an open conversation with your partner about it. Be honest and open about your feelings. You should also deliberate on how much time you’re willing to give the relationship before moving on.
2. Lack of Physical Intimacy
Lack of physical intimacy is one of the most significant long-distance relationship issues. Physical intimacy strengthens the bond between two people. It can mean cuddling, holding hands, kissing, hugging, and having sexual intercourse.
Sadly, you can’t enjoy these activities with your partner if you live in different cities. And if you can’t make physical contact with your partner, you’ll most likely have trouble connecting with them, especially when you see other couples enjoying each other’s company.
How to Avoid it?
One way to sustain the spark of sexual intimacy in your long-distance relationship is by taking advantage of technology. With instant messaging apps like WhatsApp, you can send flirty texts, nudes, and voice notes, to your partner.
If you want to take it one step further, get on a video call and masturbate together. It’s normal to feel shy at first, but don’t hesitate to tell your partner how you feel as it will help the both of you to get comfortable.
3. Feeling You Have Nothing to Talk About
Another problem in long-distance relationships is that there isn’t much to talk about. A lack of shared experiences can make it difficult to relate to each other. And when this happens, it can make the relationship feel stagnant and boring.
For example, assuming you and your partner had seen a fantastic street performance earlier in the day, you’ll likely talk about it later when having small talks. But when you communicate across a long distance, you may just summarize your experience for the day in a few words.
How to Avoid it?
Talking about your daily activities is a fun way of keeping communication lively with your partner. Instead of telling your partner that you had a lovely day, go into detail about the day’s events and tell them what made that day different from the rest.
Your hobbies and interests are exciting things to discuss too. What progress have you made on them recently? What does your job feel like at the moment? A simple Google search will show you a list of ideas to discuss with your partner.
4. Jealousy and Trust Issues
Another problem with long-distance relationships is that there is always the risk of one or both partners being jealous and suspicious. When you are separated, you may feel that your partner is cheating on you.
Since you both lack physical intimacy, it’s easy to assume that your partner will find another companion. If you keep feeling this way, you’ll quickly get jealous, and trust issues will creep in. And this can ruin your relationship.
How to Avoid it?
To prevent jealousy in long-distance relationships, you need to do a bit of self-reflection. Assess yourself to find out the reason for your jealousy. Is it a feeling you make up in your head, or is your partner doing anything that feeds your jealousy?
Figure out the uncertainties in your relationship and set boundaries. It would also help to communicate your doubts and insecurities to your partner so they can help you overcome them.
5. Communication Problems
Communication problems are one of the biggest challenges of long-distance relationships. If you and your partner live far apart, you may not have as much time to spend together, especially if you keep a full-time job or busy schedule.
Physical closeness is one of the main ways people communicate, so being separated from your partner can lead to a lack of communication. The distance can also make it more challenging to resolve conflicts and disagreements.
How to Avoid it?
To sustain the communication between you and your partner, you and your partner should decide on a convenient time to chat daily. The difference in schedule and time zone means you’re likely to be available when your partner is busy.
Agree on a fixed time when you can both communicate freely. Prioritize facetime and voice conversions over texts. Finally, avoid sharing too much information too quickly as this can overwhelm the other person.
6. Losing Interest in Your Partner
People growing apart in a long-distance relationship will undergo many changes. And these changes can cause them to lose interest in each other.
Some couples may lose interest because they can’t see each other as often as they would like. Others may want to quit because they feel guilty or pressured to be in a relationship with someone nearby. When this happens, the relationship is at risk of ending.
How to Avoid it?
If you find yourself losing interest in your partner while they are away, put in more effort to foster communication. You can set aside time daily to skype or facetime with your partner because it will help you build a sense of connection.
While communicating with your partner, be honest about your feelings, including your growing loss of interest in the relationship. When you both understand you have a problem, you can work together to solve it.
7. Cheating
Cheating can occur in any relationship, but long-distance relationships are especially vulnerable. Some of the most common causes of cheating in a long-distance relationship include boredom, loneliness, and poor communication.
As adults who are used to enjoying physical intimacy, it can be hard to fight temptation when thousands of miles separate you. While texting apps enable you to keep in touch with your partner, they can also be a tempting way to cheat.
How to Avoid it?
One way to overcome this LDR challenge is constantly communicating with your partner. Talking with your partner frequently will help maintain your trust in each other.
Also, keep yourself busy and limit your time chatting with the opposite sex. If possible, visit your partner to establish physical contact with them. Otherwise, try to sustain the sexual intimacy between you through sexting, masturbating together on webcams, or sharing your favorite porn scenes.
8. Talking Too Much
Overcommunication is one of the common long-distance relationship challenges. While communication is important to the success of a relationship, too much of it is counterproductive.
When you’re having repeated conversations with your partner, you easily get bored and lose interest in the relationship. Even though your partner has no problem keeping up with the incessant chats, talking too much establishes intense communication patterns that can be difficult to change later.
How to Avoid it?
One way to moderate the communication rate between you and your partner is to chat at specific times during the day. Find out when your partner has free time and chat with them during this period.
Before starting a conversation, ask yourself if what you’re about to say is necessary. If it isn’t, consider waiting until another time to speak. Also, consider asking your partner to help you limit the rate of communication between you both.
9. Not Having a Personal Life
Another prevalent long-distance problem is putting your partner’s needs ahead of yours. While this can be a great sign that you are committed to the relationship, it can sometimes lead to resentment if your partner is unwilling to do the same for you.
Besides, putting someone else’s happiness and welfare above yours could mean sacrificing your goals and ambitions. This is a risky situation to be in as nothing is guaranteed in any relationship.
How to Avoid it?
Loving yourself is the most important thing you can do in a long-distance relationship. It’s essential to take care of yourself to build your self-esteem and be there for your partner when they need you most.
The first step to loving yourself is recognizing that you deserve love and affection from others. Make sure that you eat well and get enough sleep. Start spending more time with people who make you feel good about yourself.
10. Time Zone Problem
A significant difference in time zone is one of the biggest long-distance relationship obstacles. The time difference will make it more difficult for the couple to communicate because while one person is available to chat in the evening, the other could be sleeping deeply in the middle of the night.
It’s more challenging if the couple is working or schooling. And if this problem persists, it can strain communication and make the couple lose interest in the relationship.
How to Avoid it?
The best way to solve the time zone problem in your long-distance relationship is to learn about your partner’s schedule and find a convenient time to talk with them. Make it a routine by scheduling a call in advance.
You might have to make some compromises, but if you love your partner, it’s worth it. If you won’t be able to communicate with them at an appointed time, send video messages instead. Finally, be patient and flexible.
11. Connecting With Partner Feels Like an Obligation
A relationship can feel like a chore if it takes too much energy and effort. Over time, your partner may come to expect things from you, such as being there when they need support in working through relationship problems.
It’s easy to see this as a pointless activity draining your energy and attention since you don’t see each other often. When connecting with your partner starts to feel like a burden, it means you no longer find the relationship exciting and will soon call it quits.
How to Avoid it?
The best way to improve your relationship when it gets tiring is to make communication more exciting and engaging. Instead of discussing each other’s daily routine and saying what you had to eat for lunch, explore different ideas and topics you haven’t discussed before.
You can also play fun games like truth or dare, twenty questions, or would you rather. Repetitive text conversations are boring so introduce videos and voice notes when communicating.
12. Feeling Loneliness
Feeling lonely in a long-distance relationship is one of the most common problems couples face. When you’re far apart, it can be hard to stay connected. You’ll miss each other’s daily routine, and this will lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation.
It’s easier to feel this way when you’re surrounded by regular couples who enjoy each other’s company often. Besides threatening the continuation of your relationship, loneliness can worsen into anger and depression.
How to Avoid it?
If you’re feeling lonely in a long-distance relationship, talk to your partner about your feelings so they can help you work through it. They may start creating more time for you or even arrange a visit.
Another thing you can do to ease the loneliness is to spend more time with your friends and family. Try to have fun together. Attend social events and find something fulfilling to keep you busy and productive.
13. You Will be Annoyed by Other Couples
It’s easy to get annoyed by other regular couples if you’re in a long-distance relationship. Seeing other people enjoy physical closeness will remind you that you don’t have such privilege. And this can lead to frustration and anger.
Some people will even interpret other couples’ display of affection as an attempt to oppress them. Such delusional thoughts can affect your relationship with other couples. It can even make you vent your frustration on your partner and ruin your relationship.
How to Avoid it?
Focusing on yourself is the healthiest way to manage your frustration if you’re unhappy in a long-distance relationship. Practice mindfulness meditation to help you uncover your deep-seated feelings and control them.
Meditation will also help you accept that other couples are not responsible for your frustration. Excuse yourself and take deep breaths when you feel annoyed at other couples. It would also help to talk to your friend or family about how you feel.
14. Not Finding Time for Each Other
Time is one of the most common long-distance problems. When you and your partner live in different cities, making time for each other can be hard since your routines and time zones differ.
Physical closeness is vital to sustaining communication, but if this closeness isn’t available. One person may be too busy to FaceTime or chat. As communication between partners starts to decline, they’ll gradually lose interest in the relationship and end it.
How to Avoid it?
One way to enjoy more time with your partner is to schedule calls and video chats with each other every day or on specific days in a week. To get the most out of these calls, learn about their schedules so you can talk at length when they are not busy.
You can even try playing online games together or watching a TV show simultaneously. These small gestures will show your partner that you really want to spend time together.
15. Not Sharing Responsibilities Equally
Many couples struggling with long-distance relationships do so because the relationship is one-sided. For a long-distance relationship to succeed, both partners must make sacrifices. If one person is always calling and sending presents while the other relents, it can lead to doubt and frustration.
Unmatched efforts in a relationship make people feel that they are not wanted. And when they start to feel this way, it can dissolve the relationship faster than anything.
How to Avoid it?
If your relationship begins to feel one-sided, the best thing to do is talk to your partner about it. Have an open discussion about how you want to share responsibilities and figure out what each person is willing to do.
Both of you can also take turns fulfilling each other’s roles so that you both get a chance to do them. Finally, remember that it’s essential to communicate with each other throughout the process.
FAQ
Why is long-distance so hard?
Long distance is hard because physical closeness and support are necessary to build a relationship. It’s easy to feel lonely if your partner lives far away.
When long-distance gets hard?
First of all, accept that LDR problems are common. This way, you will be mentally and emotionally prepared to tackle them when they arise.
When your long-distance relationship is in trouble?
You can tell your long-distance relationship is in trouble when your partner communicates less often with you and puts up arguments at the slightest opportunity.
How to deal with a busy boyfriend long-distance?
If your long-distance boyfriend is always busy, ask him about his schedule to find a convenient time when you can freely communicate with him.
