4 Bases of Dating in 2023 (Everything You Need to Know)

Romantic couple at the bar

Few things in life are as confusing, exciting, and potentially awkward as dating because it isn’t a one-way street.

You have to cover some stages before getting sexually intimate with your date. These stages are known as the bases of dating, and there are four major bases.

The first base is kissing, and the second one involves physical intimacy above the waist. The third base is touching and oral play below the waist, while sexual intercourse is the fourth base. 

Bases of Dating         

1. The First Base

First base meaning: The first base of dating is kissing. In order to get into this base, you must have spent some time getting to know each other, exchanged numbers, and maybe even gone out on a date before anything happens between you two. 

The first base is also known as the kissing base. Kissing is an essential part of every romantic relationship. If a couple enjoys kissing each other, they may be more likely to pursue a romantic relationship. 

The kissing base encompasses different types of kisses. This includes soft, gentle kisses and more passionate kisses such as French kissing, open-mouth kissing, and tongue kissing. 

First base tips

Here are a few things you can do to make the first base in dating more intriguing. 

  • Ensure that you’re both in the mood. Stay hydrated because dehydration can lead to dry lips and a dry mouth, making kissing uncomfortable. 
  • Start with soft and gentle kissing with closed lips. Open your mouth a little and let the other person know that you are ready for more. 
  • Try the ‘swirling’ kiss, where your tongues swirl around each other in a figure-eight pattern. Then add a little pressure when you kiss to make it feel more passionate.

2. The Second Base

Second base meaning:  The second base sexually indulges couples beyond mere kissing. It involves sexual stimulation above the waist, including touching and caressing the chest, breasts, and nipples. The couple could be fully or partially clothed during such intimate moments. 

The second base is the perfect way to ease any sexual tension between the both of you without having sex.

But it can take a couple of dates to get to this point, especially if any or both individuals are more interested in building a meaningful relationship than merely satisfying sexual urges. 

Although this base can be very pleasurable and exciting, if one or both partners don’t want to do it yet or go any further than this point in their relationship, then they should not be forced by their partner or someone else pressuring them to do so.

Second base tips

Here are a few things you can do to make the second base in dating more enjoyable.

  • Ask for consent first before touching them. This gives them a chance to say no if they don’t want to be touched in that way at that particular moment.
  • If your partner gives you consent, start slow and gentle so they can get used to your touch before moving on to anything more intense. 
  • Keep your hands warm. You can achieve this by rubbing them together. 

3. The Third Base

Third base meaning: the third base sexually indulges couples below the waist. In this phase, both individuals stimulate each other by touching and fondling their genitals. This stage also includes oral sex and the use of toys if they’re available. 

It’s easy for the genitals to get sweaty and produce some foul smell, so try showering before action. It will also help to introduce a dental dam in the third phase.

Not many people are aware that STIs are transmittable through oral sex. A dental dam is a thin latex barrier that protects you from potential infection.

Third base tips

  • Slow down during foreplay — the best way to enjoy intimacy is to build sexual tension. Take your time to build anticipatory pleasure in your partner.
  • Do not use your teeth during oral play. If your teeth get jams into your partner’s genitals, their pleasure can quickly turn into pain.
  • Pay attention to your dental hygiene. Also, don’t engage in oral sex within two hours of brushing to minimize the likelihood of an STI transmission.

4. The Fourth Base

Fourth base meaning: this base is also known as the home base because it is the apex of sexual intimacy between both parties. This phase is marked by penetrative sex.

Most times, couples get to this stage right away from third base, but it can be a tricky journey from there. You have to ensure that you are both ready and willing to have sex. 

Also, try not to pretend about your feelings at this point. If you feel your partner is not getting it right, call their attention to it and tell them how you prefer to be pleasured.

Fourth base tips

Here are a few things that make the fourth base in dating more exciting.

  • Practice safe sex by using a barrier such as condoms or contraceptives.
  • Stay clean before getting involved with your partner. That way, you’ll feel more at ease. Pay attention to your dental hygiene, body fragrance, and undies.
  • Airing your thoughts and feelings can also help to make this phase more exciting. If your partner enjoys being naughty or flirty, try introducing dirty talks. For a modest partner, whispering sweet romantic talks into their will suffice.

Baseball Sexual Base Metaphor Origin

The four bases of dating are a sex metaphor or a baseball sex analogy that describes the stages of sexual intimacy in a new relationship.

These slang words originated during World War II and have been in use since then. Buster Keaton, an American actor, played a significant role in popularizing these slang words as he used them often in his humorous talks. 

Some sexuality educators condemned these slang words for depicting sex as a win-lose encounter.

But others consider them to be effective instructional tools for providing sex education to middle school students. More recently, these slang words have been introduced into the English dictionary.

Other Baseball Dating Metaphors

There are other less known baseball metaphors besides the four dating bases. Young people often use these slang words to talk about sex without being explicit.

Grand slam

A grand slam means having anal intercourse. This term is more commonly used to describe homosexual sex than heterosexual sex.

Strike Out

Strike out refers to a date without foreplay or other sexual activity. It is common at first base when you’re not yet acquainted with each other.

Switch Hitter

A switch hitter is a bisexual individual. It’s important to disclose this information about yourself to your date because not everyone will feel comfortable with it.


A pitcher is a penetrative partner in anal sex. This detail is usually insignificant in a heterosexual relationship, but it matters for gay couples.


A catcher is a receptive partner in anal sex. It’s good for gay couples to tell their dates about their preferred sex roles to determine their compatibility.

Playing for the Other Team

People who play for the other teams are either homosexuals or lesbians. It’s a fancy way to tell someone about your sexual orientation without being explicit.


This word implies that a partner has made the wrong move during sexual intercourse. And this move offends the other party that they disengage from further action.

Double Header

A double header describes mutual oral sex in a 69 position. This sex position is best when lying down flat on a bed.

Sacrifice Fly

Sacrifice fly is a slang word used to describe a scenario where a man receiving a blow job pulls out and shoots his load over the woman’s body or face.

Picked Off

This slang implies getting casually acquainted with someone, usually at a bar or party, with the aim of having sex with them.


In the dating world, when a person walks, especially a woman, they are going home after a night of an unplanned sexual encounter. The phrase usually suggests that they feel embarrassed.

Playing the FIeld

If someone is playing the field, they have several romantic or sexual relationships. People who use this slang usually prefer being in an open relationship or no serious relationship at all.

Running the Bases

Running the bases is a base slang that describes a person’s progress through the four bases to scoring at the final base.

Also read: Online Dating Statistics (Latest U.S. & Global Data)


What are the sexual bases?

The sexual bases explained in this article are like the milestones couples unlock in their journey of sexual intimacy. They are the four bases, with the fourth being sexual intercourse.

What are the bases in dating?

The bases in dating, also known as hookup bases, is a baseball analogy that describes the different bases couples pass before having sexual intercourse for the first time.

What is first base in dating?

The first base in dating is the stage where you establish a romantic connection and feel comfortable with each other. This stage is marked by kissing.

What is second base in dating?

The second base in dating is the stage where the couple initiates sexual stimulation by caressing, licking, or fondling the chest, breast, or nipples.

What is third base in dating?

In the third base in dating, the couple extends their sexual interaction beyond the waist. It involves touching the genitals or stimulating them with the tongue.

What is fourth base in dating?

The fourth bases in dating are also the bases of sex. At this stage, the couple has exhausted all other means of sexual excitement in the base system and advanced to sexual intercourse.

What is first base sexually?

The first bases sexually involve kissing. This is the first intimate act that occurs in the relationship. It can be soft and gentle like a peck or passionate like a french kiss.

What is second base sexually?

The second base sexually involves touching, caressing, or licking the chest, breast, or nipples. Physical contact during this base could either be with clothes on or partially undressed.

What is third base sexually?

The third base sexually involves stimulating the erogenous zones below the waistline. This includes using the hands to rub the genitals or rubbing the tongue around them.

What is fourth base sexually?

The fourth and final of all the bases involves every sexual act, from kissing to sexual intercourse, also known as the home run.

How many dates before second base?

The first date can lead to the second base if it’s a sex-oriented relationship. Otherwise, couples usually get to the second base after the second date.

How many dates before third base?

The third bases in sex can occur on the first date for a couple who is matched for sex. But a modest couple can get to this base after the second or third date.

How many dates before fourth base?

People who meet on a hookup site can get to the sex bases as quickly as on the first or second date. But others who meet on less sex-focused grounds and intent may go on up to three or four dates before having sex.

Similar Posts