33 Modern Acts of Chivalry That Are Relevant in 2023
We are living in times where chivalry is looked at as something dead, archaic, and has no relevance in today’s modern world. However, the acts of chivalry is inarguably more important than ever.
You might be missing out on many modern acts of chivalry because you don’t realize that chivalry isn’t just about being a gentleman to women, it’s about treating everyone with respect.
1. Giving sincere compliments
One of the core characteristics of chivalry is giving heartfelt compliments to your loved ones. A sincere compliment is such a powerful tool. Studies show that compliments can make someone’s day, brighten their mood, and even help them feel better about themselves.
Keep the compliments simple and be specific in your praise. For example, when your girlfriend or sister looks great in a dress, the modern code of chivalry requires that you say something as simple as, “you have a talent for wearing the most gorgeous outfits.”
2. Sending flowers
Being chivalrous means showing that you love, respect, and care for someone. So sending flowers is a classic way of showing appreciation or encouragement to someone who’s going through a rough time.
However, you should send the flowers with a handwritten note. This will make your gesture more meaningful than just purchasing a bouquet from your local florist’s shop.
3. Putting the phone away
If there’s one thing that can turn a nice evening into a nightmare, it’s an intrusive phone call or text message from another person. Whether it’s from an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend or even a work colleague, don’t let your phone get in the way of your time with your date.
Instead, put your phone away and engage with your date for at least 20 minutes before answering any messages unless they’re urgent ones from family members or close friends.
4. Always being on time
Most ladies believe that a perpetual latecomer on dates does not take them seriously. So being on time shows that you respect and value her time. It’s also a sign of consideration and respect for yourself — after all, rushing around can leave you exhausted and stressed out.
If something unexpected happens on your way (like traffic), let the person know ahead of time so they can adjust their plans accordingly.
5. Understanding etiquette
One of the amazing examples of chivalry is getting acquainted with modern etiquette. For instance, if your meal has arrived at the dinner table, but hers has not, wait for her.
Also, you should not blow on your meal. Wait for it to cool enough before you start eating. It could put her off, hence ruining your date.
6. Paying the bill
As a chivalrous man, when you step out, you should offer to split or better still, foot all the bills, especially if it’s your first date. However, this isn’t rare.
Many men can offer to pay for a meal, but only a few pay for the meal and still thank their date. A man who pays for the meal and says “thank you” is not only a gentleman but also a rare breed. So whether you invited her out or not, you should always thank her for meeting up with you.
7. Opening the doors for her
Opening doors for women is one of the oldest forms of chivalry around and it still holds true today!
If a woman has her hands full with bags or if there are many people walking by her door at once, then offer your help by opening the door for her so she doesn’t have to struggle with anything while going through it.
This shows you are considerate and can pass as a chivalrous gentleman. But make sure you don’t knock her over in an attempt to reach the door first.
8. Walking her to the door after a date
Honor, companionship, and loyalty are the bedrock of chivalry today. A chivalrous man is an excellent companion to his woman. So after the date comes to an end, courtesy demands that you walk her to the entrance door.
The idea of chivalry in dating is to show that you’re ready to put effort into ensuring her safety. This way, earn her trust.
9. Send unplanned texts
Sending an unplanned text is one of the ultimate acts of chivalry. It shows that you care about the person you’re dating, even if it’s only to say, “Hey, I was thinking about you today.”
Small chivalrous deeds in a relationship aren’t only for the honeymoon couples’ activities. Consistency is the life and blood of every healthy relationship.
10. Giving up a seat
Giving up your seat to someone who needs it more than you do in a bus or train is a classic example of chivalry in today’s society. When doing this, it’s important to do so with good grace and without judgment.
Forfeiting your seat may appear like a small gesture, but it can make a big difference to someone’s day.
11. Offering your hand
While it may seem like an old-fashioned gesture, it’s actually very considerate of you to offer your hand to a woman when getting out of the car.
You’re helping her avoid falling down or getting injured if she’s wearing heels or some other type of shoe that makes it difficult for her to walk on her own. It also shows that you’re willing to protect her.
12. Walking on the traffic side of the sidewalk
Walking on the traffic side of the sidewalk is plain good manners. If you’re walking with a woman and there’s no room for both of you to walk on the same side, walk on the traffic side so she doesn’t have to worry about getting hit by a car.
Some women may be reluctant to do this because they think it makes them look like they’re afraid of getting hit by cars. However, most will appreciate the gesture.
13. Carrying heavy things for her
Carrying heavy things for your partner is one of the most common ways to be chivalrous. This can be as simple as picking up her suitcase or bag when she’s struggling with it, or it can be as extreme as carrying her luggage all the way to the airport.
In this day and age, women feel great about men who can help carry their bags without them having to ask.
14. Lending her your jacket/coat when it’s cold
A jacket is a jacket. It’s not rocket science to figure out how to help someone put on a jacket. But if you’re going to lend your jacket to your partner during cold weather, make sure you do it right.
If you’re going to lend your jacket, be sure it’s clean and free of stains. A fresh, clean coat speaks volumes about your character and can make a big difference in the way she perceives you.
15. Always being thoughtful
Any man can walk up to a gift shop and purchase some gifts for his lady. However, a gift item that would hold a deep meaning to her will take more deliberate effort.
A thoughtful gesture is important because it shows that you’ve studied and understood her needs like a college course.
For instance, if your girlfriend or spouse feels stressed out from work, you could order her favorite meal from a restaurant.
16. Taking care of the car
Most women don’t have time to take care of their cars, and they may not want to ask their partners because it seems like too much work.
So, as a chivalrous man, you should volunteer your services and offer to take care of your partner’s car every once in a while. You can even surprise her with a wash or wax job, or pay for an oil change for her.
17. Making sure she got home safely
Another chivalry example is checking whether she got home in the best condition. This is a no-brainer but unfortunately, some men don’t care about this. Once she leaves their sight, that’s the end. They would neither call nor text to check up on her.
This courteous act is an avenue to show you that she means everything to you. It’s also an opportunity to show that every second with her counts.
18. Being a strong support system
Being a strong support system for your partner is one of the ways you can be chivalrous in dating. It’s not just about helping them with their problems and supporting her emotionally.
It’s also about being there for them when they need you to make decisions, help out around the house or just be a shoulder to cry on.
19. Owning your problems
Chivalry also includes taking responsibility for your mistakes, especially when it comes to your relationships. Owning your problems is not only chivalrous, but it helps in solving your relationship problems.
When you’re in a relationship with someone, it’s important that both people are willing to own up to their problems. If one person is constantly blaming the other person for everything that goes wrong in the relationship, the relationship may not last.
20. Always acting respectfully towards others
A true gentleman is one who not only treats women with respect but also goes out of his way to show that respect to others.
It’s easy to be a gentleman when you’re dealing with people who are like-minded and share your values. But what about when you’re dealing with strangers? They are human too and you should also treat them with civility and dignity regardless of gender or age.
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21. Always letting her on/off the elevator first
Letting your girlfriend get on and off the elevator first is a way of letting her know that you take her presence seriously. This also makes her feel good.
Generally, it’s common courtesy to let ladies go first when getting on and off elevators. Even when there’s a crowd, you should let the ladies get off first.
22. Holding the elevator for anyone close by
Holding the elevator door open for someone may appear like the simplest gesture in the world, but it can make a huge difference on a person’s mood. It’s also an easy way to start the chain of kindness
Holding doors open is not only polite, but it’s also a great way to show respect for others’ time and space
23. Standing up when greeting people
Standing up when greeting someone is a way of showing respect. When you stand up, it’s not only polite but also shows that you are happy to see them and eager for the interaction.
If you’re with a group of people, it’s also nice to introduce yourself before sitting down, so they know who you are.
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24. Having manners
Manners are an essential part of any modern man’s life. Being mannered means being respectful and attentive in public, even when no one else might appear to be noticing it.
A gentleman does not boast about his conquests or brag about being better than anyone else; he simply says what needs to be said without being rude or mean-spirited about it.
25. Always keeping your word
If you make a promise to someone, it is your duty to fulfill that promise. In the modern chivalry definition, a courteous man sticks to his word. He texts when he says he will text. Studies show that breaking your promises brings about a decline of trust.
In addition to keeping promises that are made out loud, chivalry also requires that you preserve the secrets your friend, acquaintance, or partner told you.
26. Letting her order first
Letting her order first when you’re at a restaurant is one of the acts of chivalry in a relationship. You can then follow suit with whatever you’d like to eat. This is especially important if you’re on a date and she wants to take charge.
By letting her order first, you let her know that she’s in charge and that you respect her decision-making abilities.
27. Listening to her
Every woman wants to be heard. She wants to feel like her voice matters and that she can share her thoughts without fear of judgment or reprisal.
Listening to her is chivalrous because it shows that you care enough about her, respect and appreciate her presence in your life.
28. Making her breakfast
Making her breakfast is one of the most appealing characteristics of chivalry. It is also a good way to start your day right by showing her that she’s special to you.
You can also add some fresh flowers on the tray as well as some coffee or tea (her choice). Preferable if you can prepare her favorite breakfast, just so she knows you were thinking ahead of time.
29. Stepping in during awkward situations
Women like to feel secure. When your girlfriend is being hit on by another man, don’t stand back and watch (unless she wants you to). Instead, step in with an excuse or distraction so she doesn’t have to deal with it on her own.
This shows her that you’re willing to support her in uncomfortable situations — even if it means putting yourself out there first (This also applies if you’re dating someone who’s more shy and awkward than you are).
30. Showing public gestures of affection
Showing public gestures of affection is romantic. It feels so special when you hold her hand on the street and kiss her on the forehead.
Some women expect such gestures from you. It tells them that you’re a confident man and that you enjoy their company. However, if you don’t feel comfortable with public gestures of affection, it’s fine. What’s more important is that you show your love and respect in other ways.
31. Asking women to dance
The act of asking a woman to dance is, in a sense, an act of chivalry. A woman who has not been asked to dance at a ball may feel left out. It’s true that when you ask her to the dance, you’re putting yourself at risk of rejection and possible embarrassment.
But by asking anyway, you’re showing her that you respect her enough to put your own feelings aside and make sure that everyone has fun together.
32. Remembering special days
Remembering special dates like birthdays, anniversaries and first-time events — like the day the two of you first met, the day you started dating or even the first time you kissed show that you care and appreciate your partner.
And the more you make these dates a special occasion, the more you make an impression on your partner.
33. Put on her coat first
This is the easiest and most underestimated gesture on the chivalry list. Helping your woman to wear her jacket can go a long way.
For instance, you could help her to do that when she’s rushing to work and she almost forgets to wear it.
How to be chivalrous?
The best way to be chivalrous is to lend a helping hand when someone needs it.
What does chivalry mean today?
It means displaying simple acts of kindness.
What is considered chivalrous?
Keeping to your word, listening to her, having manners, and many others.
Does chivalry exist today?
Yes, chivalry still exists today.
How does a man show chivalry?
He can show chivalry by giving sincere compliments, helping other people, especially his lover or elderly ones to carry heavy things, and many others.
What is chivalry in a relationship?
Chivalry in a relationship means striving to understand your partner’s needs and meeting them most romantically.
How can a woman show chivalry?
A woman can show chivalry by cooking for her partner, giving sincere compliments, remembering special days, and many others.