The Thought Catalog published an article titled "How To Use Psychology To Make Someone Fall In Love With You Again Post Breakup". As you ponder such a headline, I'll give you one from the long distinguished media group known as Time magazine. Theirs is titled "How to Make Someone Fall In Love With You". As a long-standing relationship coach, I don't know what bothers me more: Media outlets publishing
irresponsible fodder or people falling for it out of desperation or ignorance. Either way, I need you to understand that I cannot make someone love you, though I am often asked.
Imagine someone who was dating or married to their now ex for several years and whose entire span of happiness rests on whether they can get back with them. And so they think.
Imagine another situation between two people who have never dated because only one of the two is interested. If the interested one has put themselves out there and tried every little thing they could think of to make the other person love them, should I intervene? Would it matter if I did? In the Bonnie Raitt song "I Can't Make You Love Me", I can feel the heartache when she sings the line "you can't make your heart, feel something it won't". Not only is it powerful, it is also true. A disinterested person has their reasons and whatever they are, they cannot make their heart feel something it doesn't feel.
This true, if sometimes heartbreaking reality, brings me to another relationship mantra I dwell on. People are not shallow simply because they don't find someone attractive. We cannot invent chemistry. We cannot will ourselves to be attracted to someone if they simply don't meet our physical, intellectual, or emotional needs.
So no, I can't make you love me no matter how hard I try or how much you're willing to pay me. Even if I had a magic love potion that only the relationship coaching god's had access to, I would not help you make someone love you. You would be cheating your pride, your integrity, and your self-confidence all the way to fake love. We all deserve and should want equal and authentic love and there is nothing authentic about a love that does not come from two consenting, willful, and mutually happy people.
When you see the headline or hear the words that someone can make someone love you, turn and run the other way.